Who are you????

Who are you really? What defines you? Is that something you can do yourself? How much control do you have over who you are or how others see you? The idea for this blog post came from a tattoo. I saw someone that tattooed "thug" on their arm. Is that all it takes to be a thug? Do you need permission or to provide proof before you get the tattoo? Can you really define who you are?

There are endless amounts of movies, books, and other blog posts on how much control you have in your life. Do you have absolute control or no control? The truth lies not at either extreme. The same principle is true for your control over who you are and how others see you. I think it is important to be aligned on the definition of "who you are". For the purpose of this discussion, I am going to use the combination of personality and character traits. Meaning that who you are is a portion of what attributes you develop and what circumstances with which you grew up.

I like to think about contradictory ideas. Do you really have control over the attributes you develop? The attributes you develop are highly influenced by things you can't control. If you had been born in a different location in the world would you develop the same attributes? What about changing the time period or your family situation? The question comes again, how much control do you really have over what you develop and who you become?

To talk about the other side of the coin, I believe that you have huge amounts of control. It is clear to me that we have control over who we become by the fact that individuals who have grown up in the same situation have different experiences and life outcomes. Not everyone who is born into privilege ends up keeping or building on that privilege.

Another aspect of personal definition that hasn't been mentioned is other individual's view of you. You cannot decide how someone views you. Their experiences determine how they view you. However, it is not all out of your control. Your appearance and interaction will affect the interaction and the perception.

Why do we care? How does acknowledging the limits to our control make any difference? If we think we have no control then we won't try to work. When we know that our work makes a difference we put in effort. If we think that our effort is the only difference then we will not give back or look for ways to help others.

So who am I or what do I want this blog to be. I am hoping that my efforts will help me to clarify my understanding of the world. As I do this I hope that my interactions with others will be more charitable and it can help those around me improve their lives as well.